Needles (In My Flesh)

lyrics by L.J. Van Konigsblauw

And as I turned to walk away
One more walk through of yesterday-
I thought that I might feel your hand,
A touch to stop me going on-
Still it never came
And I understand - it's that line that runs
Between me and you,
It's so fine the way that thread runs through
You draw me closer, I feel the push,
The press, ensnare me-
I know your words made flesh.

How I wish I knew a better, cleaner way
I could make it all safe and so smooth in the dark
And you'll never know
The things I'm willing to do
Just to get clean - to be free of your mark.

I didn't know when I met you
That you could be so cruel,
The way you measure yourself against a rule of pain.
You had your face turned up to the sky
Like you always do-
The way it was raining like it rained only once and only for you.
I held you so high and so delicate, lost to the earth,
Your eyes a shape of the light and the rain-
And I wanted to let it all go, like a lesson unlearnt...
But you've pushed me farther, pulled me closer, made me hungry again
I've felt your sharp edged closeness like a knife in the dark-
Pale eyes flashing through me so sharp and so bright
Binding me all unwilling to your fragile heart.

How I wish I knew a better, cleaner way
I could make it all safe and so smooth in the dark
And you'll never know
The things I'm willing to do
Just to get clean - to be free of your mark.

And it's so sad knowing that you'd let me go now
When all along it was really the end-
Put aside your words and your instruments
And let go of truth-
Let the needles fall out of your heart and your hands

How I wish I could invent that better, cleaner way
I would make it all safer and smoother in the dark
But you'll never know
The things I'm willing to do
Just to get whole, to get clean - to be free of your mark.

To be free, just to be free
To be free of your mark...(repeat and fade)

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