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Wrinkle-Free
by Mars
happy birthday Twist, a bit late! and dedicated to ELD!
Twist's shout woke J.J. and sent him bolting out of bed down the hall to see what was wrong.
He was severely annoyed (and somewhat disappointed) to find Twist standing in front of the bathroom mirror without sight or sign of any grevious injury or life-threatening beasties about to eat his head. Instead, the Bats' lead singer was nose to nose with the glass, looking like someone had just told him Tab was being discontinued.
As was typical J.J. response, he reacted to this by putting his hands on his hips and clearing his throat sharply. "You ok?" he asked, but his irritation was easily betrayed by the edge in his voice.
The only answer he got from Twist was a miserable little moan. J.J. frowned; a mild sort of concern took hold of him and he moved over to Twist's side, looking for some hurt. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Twist's mumble completely escaped J.J.'s ability to decipher the English language.
"What?"
"I found a wrinkle!" Twist repeated, and then broke into dry sobs.
"Wha--!" J.J. blinked, momentarily thrown off, and scowled. "Oh my god, Twist, don't be stupid!" But this only caused the incomparable Twisteaux to increase the volume of his melodramatic show. J.J. got quickly desperate. "It can't be that bad!"
"It's horrible!" Twist groaned, hiding his face behind his fading purple hair.
J.J. couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Just show me, ok?"
"You'll laugh at me! You're still young and beautiful!"
"Oh my god, I totally won't laugh, ok?" His patience shorted out. "Twist!!"
Twist slowly lifted his head, hair still in his face. J.J. made an impatient noise and tucked it behind his ears, grabbing Twist's chin. He squinted. He turned Twist's face right, then left. He frowned, hard. "I don't see anything!"
Twisteaux pointed sullenly at one cheek, beside his mouth. "Right here. You'd have to be blind not to see it!"
"I so do not see anything." J.J. leaned in even closer. Twist's skin was as smooth as a baby's bottom, or as smooth as he'd imagine one to be, considering he'd never seen a baby close up. He poked and tugged at the spot Twist had indicated, but still, nothing.
"That's even worse!" Twist wailed.
"What is worse?"
"You're going blind, too!"
J.J. stomped his foot, snapping off, "I am not going blind! You have no wrinkles, Twist, oh my god!"
"But I—"
"NO! Nothing is there!! We can, you know, drag everyone else in here but it'd be a waste of time you know because I bet they'd say there's nothing there!"
The look Twist fixed on J.J. was dangerously close to that of a kicked puppy. J.J. frowned, but Twist only pouted harder. J.J. frowned more, and Twist wibbled.
"What?!"
"You could at least tell me," Twist said, in a very small, sulky voice.
"Tell you what?"
"How perfect and young and beautiful and wrinkle free I am," Twist continued, in that same little boy tone.
J.J. wondered who was four years younger than who else in this room, but he managed to keep it down to a very minor eye roll as he said, "Twist, you are perfectly young, beautiful, wrinkle free and the desire of every girl in Shojorama, ok?"
"Just girls?"
"All the girls and the boys. Ok?"
"Maybe. Just a little." But Twist was smiling brightly, swinging an arm over J.J.'s shoulders. "And you can take me to the Fat Cat Club for lunch so I can prove it, right, J.?"
J.J. suddenly felt very sulky, pouty and cranky. "It's too early for that, you know? I'm still in my pajamas." He tugged on one overlong flannel sleeve for emphasis. "And besides, I thought you hated going there with me."
"Oh god, I am horribly ugly and old and undesirable! You're ashamed to be seen with me!"
J.J. hung his head. "Alright, alright, we can go...."
When Twist was charming, he was charming. He turned an even, handsome smile at J.J. and winked. "Sweet. J., you're the best!"
Miserably, J.J. shuffled back to his room to change.
* * *
The Fat Cat Club was the hottest, most exclusive host club in Shojorama Bay, and J.J. knew every boy on the staff and chummed about with most of them like brothers. He'd even worked there for a brief (if unamusing) stint. Twist especially hated this fact, because it took attention away from him, which was simply unforgivable.
Which was why J.J. had a dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach taking Twist there. An ignored Twist could be loud, and rude, and grabby, and except for his good looks the epitome of the worst customer a host could have. Going to the Fat Cat Club with Twist always made J.J. sink a bit in his seat and usually left him apologizing profusely to the unlucky boy Twist chose later on. If only, he thought, he had J.L.'s willingness to stand up and march Twist out by the ear if need be. But he didn't, so instead he dressed as modestly as he could (which for J.J. was a clingy longsleeved shirt in brilliant fuscia with a daring leopard print, and black vinyl shorts that were just a bit longer than his usual; but Twist was in skintight leather from head to toe, so luckily J.J. didn't compare) and feigned shyness around his friends working at the club.
It worked, mostly, that and a few hundred dollar bills slipped to Haru and Tomo as a bribe to spend most of their time fawning over Twist.
"J.J. says you were wrinkly and terrible," Haru was purring in his heavy accented English, "But I thought you were younger than me! Such perfect skin."
"J.J. is horrible to say those things about such a beautiful man," Tomo added, rubbing up against Twist. "And I hear you're a brilliant singer."
"An amazing singer!"
"The best in Japan."
Twist was grinning ear to ear, of course; any realization that it was a host's job to say those things was overridden by his needy ego since this morning. "I am the best," he preened. "I am totally going to put the Culture Bats into super stardom with this voice."
"Oh, absolutely!"
"I hope I'll get to see you in a concert someday, Twisteaux-san."
"Me too, Twist-san! You'd let us backstage, wouldn't you?"
J.J. stared into his drink and tried to tune them out. He was only slightly less used to being ignored than Twist, especially here.
The cushion on his left sank heavily, and something waved itself in front of his nose. "Candy, Kiyoshi?"
J.J. looked up, surprised and pleased, smiling. Shiro, the club's owner, sat next to him, palm extended to reveal three jewel-like sweets. J.J. snatched up the middle one (bright pink, of course) and popped it into his mouth. Sugar and the faintest hint of the saccharine-like flavor of the drug dissolved pleasantly on his tongue.
"I've never seen you look so bored while you were here."
"Yeah, well... " J.J. shrugged. He could feel the low, humming warmth starting to spread through his body. He chased the candy around his mouth with his tongue. "Twist was feeling crappy today so I figured he could use the attention, you know?"
"Aren't you kind," Shiro said. His smile was humoring, but his hand was still open and J.J. helped himself to another sweet. "It's good of you to watch over your friend like this."
"Not really," J.J. admitted. Candy worked fast, jacked him up as high as he could go with the least effort, which was why he loved it as much as he did. Two was better than one; he left the two candies under his tongue, clacked them against his teeth. "He pretty much blackmailed me. I just wanna go home."
"Poor boy." Shiro's hand had wandered to his knee, but J.J. wasn't that high yet. He snuck a hand in behind Tomo, jabbed Twist hard in the side. Twist and the others all looked his way, and Shiro stood smoothly, smiling down at J.J. "Please, try and enjoy yourself."
J.J. tried to look pleasant, but when he was gone, J.J. shoved Tomo aside and tugged on Twist's sleeve. "Let's go," he hissed. "J.L.'s gonna wonder why there's three hundred dollars on the company card charged to the Fat Cat Club."
Twist sulked and pouted, but eventually J.J. got him into his car. If he was slamming doors and speeding, he didn't notice, or at the very least, he thought he deserved to be a bit grumpy. Twist, uncharacteristically, was silent. Eventually it got to J.J.
"I'm sorry I had to drag you out of there, you know, but J.L. really will be mad."
Twist crossed his arms over his chest, and glared harder out the window of J.J.'s pink convertible. J.J. sighed, hanging his head a little. "We can go again next week, when we get paid for that gig--"
"Next week," Twist said crossly, "I'll probably have two wrinkles."
"You have no wrinkles!" J.J. all but shrieked, veering dangerously to one side of the road. "Haru and Tomo didn't see any wrinkles! I don't see any wrinkles! There are none!"
"I saw the money you slipped them," Twist replied, even sulkier. "You paid them to lie to me."
"I did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did--"
J.J. jerked the steering wheel about and pulled them into the very mouth of a long driveway. He yanked his keys out harshly, setting off the little musical hello kitty charm there. "It's a small world" played like some eerie-horror-movie background music. "You. Have. No. Wrinkles!" he shouted. He felt his cheeks burning-- his face had to be red. He didn't think he'd gotten this mad since Twist had borrowed his favorite Rainbow Brite shirt and stretched it. "Say you have no wrinkles or you can get out of the car and walk home!"
Twist blinked twice, and then burst out laughing. "Really, J., I didn't know you had a dom-streak in you."
"Oh, shut up! I mean, say it, and then shut up!"
"You're not very good--"
J.J. pinched his mouth into a tight little line and pointed out of the car. Twist stopped short, his smile fading a little. "Oh, come on..." J.J. scowled and pointed harder. "You can't be serious!"
"I'm totally serious!"
"Alright, alright. 'I don't have any wrinkles,' alright?"
J.J. did not turn on the car.
"I mean it! I was just pulling your leg. You're so funny when you're all red and pissed off. And it got me free drinks and company. You can't really be mad. "
"Well I am," J.J. said, but he twisted the keys in the ignition. "I don't like being used, you know."
"I wasn't using you. And now you're just milking it."
"What, like you did?"
"Come on." Twist was leaning into J.J.'s space rather heavily, so he wasn't entirely surprised when a hand slid up along his bared thigh. "You need to relax a little. I think you're getting some wrinkles."
Candy always made J.J. jumpy and horny in the worst way. He couldn't help it when he lifted his hips up a little, let Twist slide his fingers up one leg of his shorts and stroke him there. But he managed, through gritted teeth: "You're not buying me off that easy, you know. I'm still mad."
Twist was tugging down his zipper. "Oh, come on. You can't get this mad about teasing."
J.J. shoved him away with one platform-shoed foot. "I totally can."
"That's why you've got such a huge--"
J.J. stomped on the gas, slamming them both back in their seats.
"Don't be mad."
He pressed the pedal into the floor, daring any cops to come pull him over. Bugs smashed against his windshield.
"Come on, J. Chill?"
He took a corner at a speed such that Bambi's wheels squealed on the pavement. Twist was unmoved.
"Jayyyy Jayyyyyyyyyyy...."
J.J. bit his lip. His shorts were still drafty from Twist having tugged the zipper down and really he wasn't that mad. He slowed down the car a little. "I'm still mad. But. Maybe you can make it up to me, you know."
"I'd doooo annnyyyything...."
He looked over at Twist, who was making a simpering face at him-- still teasing him. He scowled. "Anything?"
"Anything." Twist's hand was in J.J.'s lap, rubbing along his tummy, down lower, into his open fly. J.J. felt his entire body go hot, and a little sigh escaped him. He smiled at Twist, letting go of his annoyance.
"Alriiight...."
* * *
"This is bollocks!!" Twist yelled, throwing down the third hamper today that he'd hauled down to the horrible, spider-infested basement. He yanked off his frilly pink apron and hurled it after the upended hamper, paying no attention to the fact that it left him very nearly naked but for a pink, sequined thong.
"You said anything." J.J. smiled sweetly, standing at the top of the stairs. "Don't forget, those need to be cold wash, 'kay?"
Twist dropped to his knees in front of J.J., hugging at the boy's legs. "Come on, can't I just have filthy, wrinkle-free sex with you? I'm begging you!"
J.J. sucked thoughtfully at his sakura-flavor lollipop. "Hmmm."
Twist began to hope, seeing J.J.'s eyes light up.
"Oh, right-- wrinkles! I almost forgot, don't forget to iron L.L.'s shirts! And if you burn them, I'll totally make you clean the bathroom!"
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